WARNING: Graphic images to follow. Continue at your own risk.You can tell a good friend by one that will kill a bug for you.
You can tell a best friend by one that will kill a monstrous bug for you.
And you can tell a lifelong friend by one that will come to your house, get behind the refrigerator, and kill the monstrous bug for you so you can cook again.
That's the short explanation. If you want
ALL the details, read on.
So, many of you know that I have an insanely intense fear of spiders. Spiders... or any small creature with legs that "scurries," really. Or one that flies now that I think about it. Pretty much anything can qualify to be in my phobia as long as it's small, creepy-crawly, and utterly harmless. Some of you might be remembering the time that I lived at grandma's house (years ago), saw a spider next to my bed right before I was going to crawl in, and wouldn't sleep there for two weeks, only returning upon a massive sheet-cleaning expedition, thorough inspection of the room (by my brother-thanks Tim), and the wearing of socks tucked into my leggings.
Others of you might be remembering when we were driving to Springville on a nursing community assignment, and I was at a loss for words, but not emotion, about whatever it was on Whitney's back. It ended with us pulling over cause everyone thought I was referring to a huge tarantala or something more life-threatening. Turned out to be a moth.
My dad may be remembering the time I woke him up at 3am about the spider that scurried across the office floor, heading straight for me.
The latest incident was this past Friday. Rob was off at school, and I was having a lazy morning. Slept in, put off my to-do list, had a late breakfast, etc. So I finally decided I should clean up after myself, and I was loading the dishwasher. As I was loading a cup, I suddenly saw something fast out of the corner of my eye. I jumped, screamed, and ran out of the kitchen. When I gathered my senses a bit, I noticed that it had hidden itself in a corner of the cupboards and a wall. I looked down at my bare feet, and was suddenly very grateful for my bad habit of taking my shoes off and leaving them as soon as I come in the door. I slipped some on. I checked again on the mysterious creature, then made a dash for the bedroom where my phone was. I called Rob.
"You've got to come home right now. We've got a problem," I said.
"What is it?" wondering what could be so urgent.
I explained exactly what had happened, and gave him the horrifying description of the creature. "It's a cross between a GIANT earwig, a centipede, and a spider." My WORST nightmare.
"Just kill it," Rob encourages.
He clearly needs more time to realize I don't kill bugs.
"Um, not possible," I said. "Just skip the Costco run, and get home to kill this THING!"
All my begging was to no avail. He thought I was being a baby.
Suddenly I was screaming again. Screaming/crying/hyperventilating. The Thing had peeked around the corner at me, to observe my reaction-which he realized was harmless, and then suddenly made a mad dash behind the refrigerator.
Now it was impossible.
A-impossible for even Rob to kill it.
B-impossible for me to ever enter the kitchen again.
C-impossible for me to feel comfortable in my own home. (Seriously, I took a shower looking up, down, and around me the whole time to make sure I wasn't accompanied by any creepy-crawlys)
However, I had errands to run. I considered going out the front door and around to the garage, to avoid the kitchen altogether. But after I put on close-toed shoes, I decided to brave the kitchen, and run across the linoleum to the garage door.
Luckily my errands included a Smart Cookie stop with friends. Tangent--Smart Cookie closed on Friday, and added to my grief. I have loved that place for four years, and it has been an integral part of my college experience! It was a sad goodbye, to say the least. Here we are at Smart Cookie for the last time.
And in the telling of my day, I relayed the horrific earwig/centipede/spider story. And their reaction was this, "Ah! Let's go kill it! We'll come over right after and find it and kill it."
Lifelong friends.
Here are pictures of the adventure that followed. No explanation needed.
Except for that this is what we were dealing with.
And this is what they dealt.
Another qualification of a lifelong friend is if you made it through this post. I applaud you.
